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The Queen of Sheeeba
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May 2013
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The Queen of Sheeeba [userpic]
By the end of the week, some poor person is gonna get punched in the throat.

Monday: Come home to find the Wicked Witch of the East under my shed.

Tuesday: I'm making my coffee. Half Italian roast, half French vanilla. We have those fancy machines that pushes pressurized heated water through what they call a K-cup. I like 4oz each of Italian Roast and French Vanilla. The Even Bigger Kahuna (The Big Kahuna is my department's managing partner. TEBK is the managing partner for the LI branch) was standing behind me, waiting his turn. He sees me making my coffee, picks up one of the K-cup coffee thingies and says, "These things are really expensive. The charge us, like, 20 cents a piece for them."

I turn around and very innocently say, "It's perqs like this that makes working for this company great. The coffee. . . the bonuses. . ."

Yeah, we didn't get bonuses this year because the CPAs lost money. Our department made money-- like always but since we are the red-headed stepchildren of our prestigious accounting firm, we don't get bonuses-- or too much coffee either, apparently.

Wednesday: I'm making coffee. I've got Slenda in the bottom of my cup and am reaching for ONE Italian roast K-cup when Asperger's Asscrack comes up behind me. I mean directly behind me breathing down my neck. I grab a K-cup and she says, "Can I skip you?"

Me, not comprehending, ask, "Do you want some water?" The water thingie is right next to the coffee thingie. I figure she wants to get in there and pour herself some water.

"No, I want to make some coffee. Can I get ahead of you?"

I am standing there-by now my sugared cup is already sitting in the machine and my K-cup is poised to enter the puncturing chamber. I look at her in utter disbelief. "No!" I say. She's lucky I didn't add, "What the fuck is WRONG with you?!" to the end of it. She turns on her heel and stalks off in a huff.

I finish making my coffee, walk down the corridor and guess who I see outside HR Lady's office whining like a baby. About me. Because I'm rude.

That coffee machine is gonna get me fired.

Today: There was a girl on the bus talking very loudly on her cell phone. She looked to be 18, maybe 20. This was very annoying, the screaming of personal business into your cell while in public. It was extra special annoying because this was the conversation she was having:

Ugh! My mom disgusts me. She's a big fat lump of nothing. All she does is get up in the morning, go to work, come home, eat dinner and go to sleep. Eat and sleep-- she has no ambition to do nothing. You'd think she'd get off her ass and DO something. Other parents have kids going to college and they get off their lazy asses and get their kids a used car or something. Not my mom. She takes out a loan and takes care of her personal business. She gives not a thought to what her kid needs. Eat, sleep and go to work. What a waste of life. Gah, she disgusts me!

Holy crap, I felt like smacking the phone right out of her selfish little hands.

This Whole Week: I've had a cyst on my twat. It grew to the size of a golf ball. I spent yesterday sitting in 3 inches of hot water and not at work. Where I have a lot of shit to do and no overtime to do it in. Plus I have a nasty rash in my inner elbow. I think it's the measles. I may die.

But besides all that, I've been good! How it shakin' with you?